Graduation Day!

At 24, I've graduated a few years later than the norm, but better late than never right? Originally I attended Hertfordshire Uni, but left for several reasons. It's actually taken me until now to realise that it's okay to stop doing something if it doesn't make you happy- I stayed at Hertfordshire for a lot longer than I should have because I didn't think it was okay to admit I was miserable there and wasn't getting the education I felt I should have.

Anyway, enough of that, there are several important lessons I learned on the day that I feel I need to share- and a few TERRIBLE photos that you should see.

Lesson 1- You will get hot regardless of how floaty or mini your dress is. And I'm not talking about "oh I'm a little bit warm", I'm talking surface of the sun hot. I'm fairly certain those robes are made from lava. I wore a little white skater style dress from Oasis and still lost about 7 stone in water weight on the day, so remember to keep a bottle of water with you.

I'm fully aware I look like an absolute tit, which brings me on to Lesson 2- nobody looks good in a mortar board. You can be Ryan Gosling himself, but that little hat will make you look like a grade A knob and every man and his dog will want to take pictures of you. Just embrace the embarrassment. Speaking of which Lesson 3- is something I completely forgot to do. In my sleep deprived state, I forgot to bring any make up with me to top up. the ceremony itself may only be a couple of hours long, but then there's a reception and the endless photographs. Thanks to my lack of organisation, I look like a half melted witch in most pictures from the day.

Lesson 4- give your shoes a trial run before the day. My adorable little powder blue heels looked dreamy (and were an absolute steal!), but they absolutely murdered my feet despite being a sensible height. I managed to walk in them, but I saw plenty of girls on the day who were wearing giant stilettos and struggled to walk across the stage and it's just not the strongest of looks, guys! 

Lesson 5- leave the hat throwing pictures to the professionals. Here are several pictures to demonstrate my point:

                            
                                

Getting the timing right is nigh on impossible (or maybe it's my dad's below average camera skills) and all that happens is your hat gets covered in grass and you get a mild case of tennis elbow. 

Finally, Lesson 6- don't get hung up on the future. I got a bit overwhelmed by the amount of people asking me what I want to do and a lot of people had their next step planned but, in true Amy fashion, I don't. That's perfectly okay though! The majority of your classmates will have no idea what they're doing. Remember when you first started and the fear you had then? You're all still in the same, albeit slightly scarier, boat. Life will figure itself out, it's kinda terrifying but it's the best kind of terrifying. 

Uni and Stress

This is not quite what I had planned to post on this blog, but sometimes life happens and you just have to roll with it. At 3 o clock this morning I woke up, nipped to the loo and climbed back into bed ready to sleep for at least another 5 hours. Rather than peacefully revisiting dreamworld, however, a feeling that has recently become all too familiar started to creep over me- my heart starting beating erratically, I was short of breath, having hot flashes and felt like I was going to die. I was having a panic attack. The cause of this? Stress. Anxiety. All the usual culprits. You see, I'm in my final year of uni so along with the usual stressors such as looming essay deadlines and exams, I have that constant niggling question in my head of "what the flip are you planning to do next?" (flip is a replacement for a much stronger word, but let's keep this PG). Every other year I have had the plan of working through the summer, then resuming studies in the autumn but this year isn't so neatly planned out, what exactly does one do after graduating? There's a recession on isn't there? How am I meant to find a decent job in this economic climate? When do I start applying? What skills do I actually possess?
I know I'm not the only one to feel like this, I look around most of my friends at uni and see the same worried expressions etched on to their faces because we're all under the same undue pressure. It begs the question, when did education become this stressful? I love learning new things, I study philosophy which comes from the Greek for 'love of wisdom' for crying out loud! The problem is that pressure is put on us from all angles- there's pressure to know what we want to do, to apply for jobs and attend interviews while doing coursework, revising for exams and keeping up with classes in general- the fun gets sucked out of it. We're told from a young age that we need to know what we want to do with our lives and that's scary- I'm 23, so older than a lot of my peers but still, that is no age for me to be lying awake at night wondering how I'm going to forge a career, afford a mortgage and support a family. It's stupid.

The bottom line is, your 20s are for having fun, for exploring and learning new things and then falling in to something that you love that hopefully pays the bills as well. Everyone is so consumed by this notion that they have to grow up NOW and get a great paying job in a city but the truth is that happiness is the most important. Then health, anything else is a bonus.